


A certain kind of heartache

by bluesaturn



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android Dehumanization (Detroit: Become Human), Angst, Gavin Reed Being an Asshole, Gavin Reed Not Being an Asshole, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, brief mention of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25267012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesaturn/pseuds/bluesaturn
Summary: Gavin falls in love with Connor and ends up getting rejected by him.
Relationships: Connor/Gavin Reed, Onesided Connor/Gavin Reed
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	A certain kind of heartache

**Author's Note:**

> well, I guess I go here now sometimes ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Gavin wakes up with the worst fucking headache he's ever had. Maybe it's due to the fact that he hasn't slept much at all lately or it's because he's had to listen to Connor all day long yesterday.

He has absolutely no idea what the heck Fowler is thinking in pairing them up to work on a case together.

Gavin doesn't have a permanent partner because literally no one is able to put up with him for too long. He honestly prefers it that way and he hates every time he is forced to work together with someone else. (He knows sometimes it's necessary and some things in this job are way too fucking dangerous to do alone. Still.)

He definitely has no idea why on Earth Fowler would think the robot he showered in coffee right as he started work at the DPD would be a good choice of partner for him, permanent or otherwise.

Gavin stills feels bitter about the whole revolution thing. That's not an opinion one gets to voice out loud anymore, at least not at his workplace, considering Androids are now "people" they're supposed to protect as well. He sometimes wonders what the heck is wrong with literally everyone that all it took was a handful of robots singing to get to this point.

It's not even anything to bond over with Anderson anymore, which is a shame, because it was one of the only things they actually managed to agree on.

But the fucking traitor had changed his mind in a heartbeat, going so far as aiding Connor in helping that fucking revolution or whatever it was supposed to be, succeed. He often finds himself wondering how the hell Connor had managed to turn Anderson around that quickly.

It's way too early in the morning to be thinking about all this shit, especially with this bad of a headache and the fact he's already late to work. Again. Ah, fuck it. Not like Fowler's gonna fire him or anything. Hasn't done it to Anderson in all these years and he’s come to work reeking of fucking booze more than once. Which is probably a really bad thing for a police officer, but whatever. Gavin thinks Anderson has stopped or at least really reigned in the drinking anyway. He's fairly certain Connor has something to do with it.

Gavin sighs and finally manages to force himself out of bed. He slips on a pair of boxer-shorts and jeans and grabs a shirt lying on the ground, that still looks clean. Good enough.

Not really enough time for breakfast anyway, so he decides to simply skip it. Connor's gonna look at him with that look again if he's even later and he'd rather skip a lecture today.

The office is booming and busy already and he curses when he sees that even Anderson is in already. Then again, Connor probably throws him out of bed and drives him to work himself. He thinks they're living together, but he hasn't shown enough of an interest in either Anderson's or Connor's personal life to know for sure. He sure ain't gonna ask.

Gavin heads to the break room first, to make himself a cup of coffee. Connor is already standing in there and he smiles as he sees him. He has a cup of coffee in hand that he hands to Gavin. He looks in such a good mood that Gavin feels the urge to throw the coffee at him again. But now that would end with a disciplinary warning. Damn it. Might still be worth it though… 

Just as he considers actually doing it, Connor starts talking about their case, eager to get to working on it for some reason. A series of small-time robberies is honestly not very exciting but fuck it, he needs something to distract him from all the thinking today, so he actually listens.

Connor somehow manages to identify a suspect based on the littlest evidence Gavin's ever seen. Part of him is kind of impressed.  
"Nice job, tin can," he says and for some reason, Connor smiles as if he's only heard the compliment in that.  
"Thank you, Detective Reed."  
Ah, whatever. He'll let him have that one.

It's surprisingly easy to work with Connor when Gavin can manage to not insult him for a couple of minutes. Fowler starts pairing them up more often now and he kind of hates it, but not as much as he feels he should, really.

Connor doesn't come to the office for an entire week, forcing him to get partnered up with Ben, who can only take his assholeishness for about 5 minutes, before he runs to the breakroom for a break from Gavin. He's not exactly offended by it, but it still kind of sucks. Gavin’s been kind of getting to used to having a partner around.

Connor apparently took a vacation, god knows where. Based on the fact that Anderson is missing from the office as well he presumes that they went together. Gavin tries to imagine them lying somewhere on a beach together, taking a sunbath but something about the image doesn't seem quite right.

Gavin would do hell to ever admit it, but he's almost glad when Connor comes back into the office again, wearing a bright patterned shirt that Anderson no doubt brought for him.  
Gavin sure as hell won't say it, but he almost suspects he'd been missing him. Fuck.

"It's nice to see you, Detective Reed," Connor says as he sits down at the desk opposite of Gavin's and Gavin swears his heart skips a beat.  
"How was your vacation?", he asks Connor.  
Gavin never ever does small talk in the office or even tries to get to know his colleagues better. Regardless, he lets Connor talk on and on about his vacation for the better part of an hour.

At some point, he stops insulting him, which is probably not a good thing. Somehow Connor just makes it so incredibly easy to forget what he is. He's perhaps starting to understand how Connor managed it that Anderson changed his opinion in less than a fucking week.

On his way to work one morning, he walks past a coffee shop that has a little sign on the door saying they now offer 'Thirium coffees', whatever the hell that's supposed to be. He has no idea if they'll taste like anything and the price listed next to it seems way too overpriced but he walks in through the door anyway after some consideration.

The look on Connor's face when he is the one to hand him a cup of coffee is fucking priceless. In all honesty, he's probably lucky that Connor doesn't throw it back at him, as he did to him back then. But unlike him, Connor seems to be a genuinely good… person. It's hard to call him a person, but it's - oh well.

Connor takes the coffee with a genuine “Thank you!” and the biggest smile he has ever seen on his face and Gavin's quite sure he hasn't felt this happy in a really long time. Fuck.

It's been so long since he's last felt this emotion. Still, it's not hard to recognize it for what it is and the moment he realizes it, he slams his fist against his bathroom mirror.  
It hurts like a bitch, but at least the pain manages to distract him for a minute from the fact that he's falling in love with Connor. Fucking ridiculous. 

Two months into it, it suddenly doesn't seem like such a terrible realization anymore. Connor is nice, and they get along well now. Connor always smiles so sweetly, when Gavin actually swallows his pride and buys a coffee for him as well as his own. These days Connor's mannerisms are so human, he somehow often forgets for days on end that he isn't just simply a young man, who's new in their team. Perhaps that shouldn't be easy to forget, but it is.

Gavin is, as it turns out, an absolute fucking idiot.

Connor is staring at him like the idea that he could like him is absolutely insane and fuck, maybe it is.  
He didn't return the kiss and Gavin wonders why on Earth he's even surprised by this. He's barely even started to treat Connor like a person.  
And Connor looks at him with a look in his eyes that Gavin can only describe as pity. It makes him feel sick.

"Fuck this," he grumbles and runs out of the room, out of the office and keeps on running until he can't breathe anymore.

Connor starts avoiding him after that. Gavin doesn't exactly blame him. Still, it feels like a slap in the face.

He smokes way more than he should and doesn't sleep enough and Connor doesn't say a thing when he comes into the office way too late and doesn't pull his weight on their cases. It kinda pisses Gavin off that Connor _isn't_ pissed off about it.

It's three weeks later, give or take, that Connor drags him into an empty interrogation room and Gavin wonders if he's finally made Connor lose it.  
Instead, the fucking Android looks at him and says:  
"I'm worried about you, Detective."  
Gavin has no idea what to say to that.  
"Leave me alone," he grumbles because he's always been good at being defensive.  
"I care about you, Detective," Connor says.  
His hand is on his arm, Connor is standing way too close and he wants to run away again.  
"But not in that way," Connor adds and he's never seen Connor look so sad before.  
It really doesn't help anything.  
So Gavin pushes him away and runs out of the building again, lights himself up a cigarette, and wonders when the hell his life had gotten this fucked up. Maybe it's what he deserves.

He only comes back into the office three days later. No one bothers to ask why or if anything happened. Gavin doesn't expect them to. It's hard to look at Connor now and Gavin wants to just get back to work and pretend nothing ever happened.

But even he knows he's being a fucking ass and maybe it would be easier to get back to insulting Connor and every other Android he sees and pretend like everything is back to normal. But somehow the thought of not having Connor in his life anymore sucks even more than getting rejected.

So he puts a cup of Thirium coffee on Connor's desk. Connor looks up at him and Gavin smiles at him hesitantly. There's a certain kind of heartache in Connor smiling back at him and knowing that he can never have more than that. But at least he doesn't hate him, even after everything. Gavin will take whatever he can get. And if the best he can get, is bringing Connor a cup of coffee and getting a soft smile in return, it has to be enough.


End file.
